Notice how you talk to yourself.  That inner voice, what does it say, sound like, even look like? 

You might find it gets especially loud when you do certain things.  Take note of this.  Is it when you make a mistake?  Play competitive games? Try to sleep at night?  It shows up more often than you probably realize.

I love this quote by Walt Whitman, re-quoted by Ted Lasso. 🙂

BE CURIOUS, NOT JUDGEMENTAL

In Byron Brown’s “A Soul Without Shame” he shares this RIDD model to work with those shaming voices.

R=Recognize it and notice the impact on you. By recognizing it, you are building self-awareness and your personal power.

I=Identify it or name it. Who’s voice is it really? Usually somebody from our past. If you can’t identify it, don’t get hung up on it and just name it.

D=Defend against it.  Take steps to stop the attack. Tell it to STOP!, Back off! or Shut the eff up! Even shout it out loud (if there’s no one around).

D=Disengage from it and get rid of it. Maybe take a few breaths, feel your feet on the floor. Put yourself in the driver’s seat.

As you begin to notice how you talk to yourself try not to get down on yourself because of it – we all do it.  Just notice it and see if you can begin to catch it when you do and defend against it.

You’ll find the more you do this, the voice will quiet. This is a great technique for helping to quiet that inner critic.  

“It is our birthright to uncover the soul – to remove the layers of fear or shame or apathy or cynicism that conceal it”

– Author: Elizabeth Lesser

Another time that I find this is helpful to tell that voice to shut the eff up is when I’m trying to sleep.  Many of my clients were surprised to find how helpful this was for them too.  That voice steps back and they can fall back to sleep.

This is soul work of RIDDing your internal nagging voice.  It’s not a quick and easy process. It takes consistent effort and when you start working with it you may notice it becomes louder because you are on to it, you’re aware of it.  Keep working on it.  Let it know that you’re in the driver’s seat of your life and to take a back seat.

Try it out! If it continues to nag you, reach out to me to see how coaching can help with that nagging voice.