How can self-leadership coaching benefit you in your professional & personal life? 

Clients tell me all the time that the coaching work with them is deeply personal which also helps them in how they lead their teams at work too and how they’re better able to handle things beyond their control.

I’m a Certified Integral Coach and also trained in advanced developmental coaching techniques that build greater self-leadership.  This style of developmental coaching works with you from a whole human being approach – even when being coached in a work setting.   Developmental coaching helps you understand yourself in a deeper way by building awareness and understanding to help uncover new possibilities for yourself to become self-correcting and self-generative to build long-term excellence in self-leadership.

So what does self leadership mean?

Self Leadership means living intentionally and fully from your core authentic Self—your true nature—beyond personality, narratives, and historical patterns of behavior.  Self leadership is a WOB in which we face life’s breakdowns by empowering ourselves and activating our internal greatness to address these breakdowns.  It helps us be more resilient and step more fully into life as who we truly are – without our internal naysayers taking over.

Some people think of coaching and inner work as self improvement.  I would ask, what if nothing needs to be fixed, improved or changed? What if nothing is missing and we have that innate inner wisdom we need right within us? That is the work to be done in a developmental, explorative and compassionate way to build self-leadership. In our work together, we’ll discover or give acknowledgement to the parts of you that you may be ignoring but want to be seen, acknowledged and understood.  This opens up more freedom and possibilities for you.

You may be wondering, how will this benefit me at work? 

Cultivating our capacity for self-leadership helps us be better leaders for others in the process. It’s like the analogy of oxygen mask – put on your own oxygen masks before assisting others, that you hear every time you get on a plane. Before we lead other people we need to lead ourselves and our own life.  Then we can help those we lead by empowering them to also realize their wholeness – which in turn helps the organizations we work for.

It’s not about a position or personality, experience or background.  Self Leadership is developed and becomes our way of being. You don’t need to be in a management position to deepen your self-leadership.  It will benefit you in how you:

•Engage in teams

•How you show up and present yourself, interact with those you work with

•Your confidence and communication.

•It helps build your self awareness, puts you in the driver’s seat of your life taking you off auto-pilot

So you can probably see that self leadership is also helpful in your personal life too since our inner world shapes us in all aspects of our life.

How developing your self leadership helps your personal life

We are the leaders of our own lives. Self-leadership helps us lead a more fulfilling life by helping us release the grip of the things that hold us back – most often self inflicted.  Our inner critics and internal saboteurs that try to derail us – we’ll get to understand what they’re trying to tell us and protect us from in order to release them.  This is really freeing and allows us to step more fully into life.

An important factor in the success of your coaching work is a support network whether it be a family member or close friend to share your new discoveries with and be supported by in this journey. They also challenge you in order to put what you’re learning into practice!

As your awareness deepens about yourself you begin to open up and share, you may listen more, show empathy, get over disruptions faster and your relationships change by deepening or dissolving. You’ll Gain clarity and a deeper sense of what is meaningful for you and what is not.  You understand what you need to be happy and find more balance in life.

These are just a few examples of how self leadership coaching can benefit your personal and professional life.

Whether you’re feeling stuck, looking to empower your team, or have negative self talk happening in your head – self-leadership coaching can help you in your personal and professional life by helping you choose to respond in a different way and step fully into life. The work happens when you get compassionately curious about yourself in order to cultivate true self-leadership. 

See the possibilities, you’ll be amazed what you’re capable of!  It starts with You! I’m here to guide you through this journey to deeper self leadership.

Is Developmental Coaching for you? Exploring who is coaching NOT FOR?

In my last post I wrote about who developmental coaching is for.  It’s a powerful resource for personal growth and development, but it’s not for everyone. A person must be willing to do the work, challenge their assumptions, and be open to new insights. In this post, we explore who developmental coaching is NOT for and why.

  • Somebody who thinks they already have it figured out. One of the primary reasons people seek out coaching is because they recognize they need help or support in achieving growth and development. However, some individuals may believe they already have all the answers and are resistant to feedback or perspectives. These individuals may be closed-minded and unwilling to explore new perspectives or ways of thinking, making it challenging for a coach to make any significant impact.
  • Unwilling to do homework and self-exploration. Successful coaching requires commitment and effort. In working with me as your developmental coach, I typically provide clients with “homework” assignments that require self-exploration and reflection. If a person is unwilling to put in the effort, the coaching relationship will likely be ineffective.
  • Not open to other points of view. Coaching is about exploring new perspectives and considering new ideas. If someone is not open to hearing other points of view or is dismissive of new ideas, it can be challenging for a coach to help them achieve the shifts they were hoping for.
  • Surface level is enough mentality – not willing to go deeper. Coaching often involves exploring deeper issues and challenging assumptions. Some individuals may be content with surface-level solutions, and not willing to dig deeper to identify underlying issues that may be holding them back. This mindset can make it difficult for a coach to help them achieve meaningful progress.
  • Thinks they can do it alone. Coaching is not a substitute for self-motivation and self-development. Some individuals may believe that they can achieve their goals without external support or guidance. This may be true in some cases, but for those seeking to make significant shifts or development in their lives, having a coach’s support and guidance can be invaluable.
  • Isn’t willing to invest time in themselves or currently doesn’t have the capacity in their lives. Coaching requires a time commitment, and individuals must be willing to invest the necessary time and energy to do the work of development. If someone is not in a position to make this investment, they may not be ready for coaching.
  • A replacement for therapy or dealing with a Trauma. Coaching is not a replacement for therapy or other forms of treatment for individuals dealing with trauma or mental health issues. Coaches are not licensed therapists, and we are not equipped to provide the same level of support and guidance as mental health professionals.
  • Looking for advice. Coaching is not about providing advice or telling someone what to do. A coach’s role is to guide and support individuals as they explore their own goals and develop strategies for achieving them.

Developmental coaching can be a powerful guidance for self-development and growth, but it’s not for everyone. If you recognize any of these characteristics in yourself, it may be best to hold off on coaching until you’re in a better position to benefit from it fully. Remember, coaching requires a willingness to explore new ideas, put in the necessary effort, and be open to feedback and support.

If you’re on the fence and curious, let’s set up a time to talk with no obligation. 

Is Developmental Coaching for you? Exploring who is coaching FOR?

I've got this!

Coaching is a powerful tool for personal growth and development, but it’s not for everyone. Coaching is most effective when working with individuals who are willing to do the work, challenge their assumptions, and be open to new insights. If you are looking to make a significant shift in your life, the way you show up and lead or achieve your goals, then coaching could be the right fit for you. Here’s a closer look at who coaching is for:

  • Somebody who is willing to do the work: Coaching is not a magic solution to all of your problems. It requires effort, commitment, and dedication to achieve shifts and results you’re hoping to achieve. It involves setting goals, developing strategies to achieve them, and taking action to make progress. You must be willing to put in the time and effort required to succeed.
  • Willing to challenge their assumptions: We all have assumptions and biases that shape our thinking and behavior. Coaching helps you identify and challenge these assumptions, enabling you to broaden your perspective and find new solutions to your problems.
  • Being open to new insights: Coaching can provide you with fresh perspectives and insights that you may not have considered before. To benefit from coaching, you need to be open to new ideas and willing to explore different approaches to what you’re hoping to achieve.
  • Truly seeing yourself for who you are: Coaching involves a deep understanding of who you are, your strengths, and your limitations. You must be willing to take an honest and reflective look at yourself, recognizing your strengths and areas where you need to develop.
  • Stepping outside of your comfort zone in a safe space: Growth requires stepping out of your comfort zone and taking risks. Coaching provides a safe space for you to experiment, try new things, and take calculated risks that can help you grow.
  • Trying something different to untap new resources within yourself: Sometimes, to achieve your goals, you need to try something new or different. Coaching can help you identify and tap into resources you may not have realized you had, enabling you to achieve your intentions more effectively.
  • Willing to be open and share for deeper self-understanding: Coaching involves open and honest communication with your coach. You must be willing to share your thoughts, feelings, and experiences to achieve a deeper understanding of yourself and what you’re hoping to achieve.
  • Open to growth and development: Coaching is for individuals who are open to growth and development. If you’re content with the status quo and have no desire to grow or develop yourself, coaching may not be the right fit for you. However, if you’re eager to learn, grow, and achieve your full potential, coaching can help you get there.

As you can see, coaching is for those who are willing to do the work, challenge their assumptions, be open to new insights, truly see themselves for who they are, step outside of their comfort zone in a safe space, try something different to untap new resources within themselves, be open and share for deeper self-understanding, and are open to growth and development. If this sounds like you, let’s talk about how coaching can help you in your unique situation.

RIDD Yourself of Negative Self-Talk

Notice how you talk to yourself.  That inner voice, what does it say, sound like, even look like? 

You might find it gets especially loud when you do certain things.  Take note of this.  Is it when you make a mistake?  Play competitive games? Try to sleep at night?  It shows up more often than you probably realize.

I love this quote by Walt Whitman, re-quoted by Ted Lasso. 🙂

be curious, not judgemental

In Byron Brown’s “A Soul Without Shame” he shares this RIDD model to work with those shaming voices.

R=Recognize it and notice the impact on you. By recognizing it, you are building self-awareness and your personal power.

I=Identify it or name it. Who’s voice is it really? Usually somebody from our past. If you can’t identify it, don’t get hung up on it and just name it.

D=Defend against it.  Take steps to stop the attack. Tell it to STOP!, Back off! or Shut the eff up! Even shout it out loud (if there’s no one around).

D=Disengage from it and get rid of it. Maybe take a few breaths, feel your feet on the floor. Put yourself in the driver’s seat.

As you begin to notice how you talk to yourself try not to get down on yourself because of it – we all do it.  Just notice it and see if you can begin to catch it when you do and defend against it.

You’ll find the more you do this, the voice will quiet. This is a great technique for helping to quiet that inner critic.  

“It is our birthright to uncover the soul – to remove the layers of fear or shame or apathy or cynicism that conceal it”

– Author: Elizabeth Lesser

Another time that I find this is helpful to tell that voice to shut the eff up is when I’m trying to sleep.  Many of my clients were surprised to find how helpful this was for them too.  That voice steps back and they can fall back to sleep.

This is soul work of RIDDing your internal nagging voice.  It’s not a quick and easy process. It takes consistent effort and when you start working with it you may notice it becomes louder because you are on to it, you’re aware of it.  Keep working on it.  Let it know that you’re in the driver’s seat of your life and to take a back seat.

Try it out! If it continues to nag you, reach out to me to see how coaching can help with that nagging voice.

Get inspired by books

There are so many wonderful personal development books available to us in hard copy, digital or audio, whichever suits you.  Books can offer a great opportunity for deeper reflection and building self-awareness.

It can be helpful to take notes on things that really resonate with you or write about it in your journal.  Use your journal to reflect. Notice strong reactions you may have as you’re reading.

Actively reading with a pen by taking notes and highlighting helps your processing of the information and memory.  

Another way to integrate what you’re reading is to join a book club or a read with a friend or group to review what you’ve read.

When reading a book for personal development, read with curiosity – ask yourself how might this be useful in your personal development?  Try out the ideas and practices offered in the book and see if it is helpful for you. 

A few of my favorites that I share with my clients are:

  • A Soul Without Shame, Byron Brown
  • The Wisdom of the Enneagram, Don Richard Riso and Russ Hudson
  • The Five Dysfunctions of a Team, Patrick Lencioni
  • Humble Inquiry, Edgar Henry Schein
  • The Road Back to You, Ian Morgan Cron and Suzanne Stabile
  • Falling Upward, Richard Rohr
  • The Art of Letting Go, Richard Rohr
  • The Untethered Soul, Michael A Singer
  • Dare to Lead, Brené Brown

A sampling of some favorites of my clients:

  • High Five Habit, Mel Robbins
  • Atomic Habits, James Clear
  • Daring Greatly, Brené Brown
  • The Four Agreements, Don Miguel Ruiz
  • You are a Badass, Jen Sincero
  • You Can Heal your Life, Louise Hay
  • The Power of Now, Eckhart Tolle
  • How to Win Friends and Influence People, Dale Carnegie

Tell us some of your favorite self-development or leadership books!

How can LEGOS make Serious Play for Work Teams?

LEGOS aren’t just for kids! Can you believe that adults use legos at work to help improve team collaboration, spark creativity, and problem-solve?

LEGO® SERIOUS PLAY® (LSP) is a method for facilitating communication in meetings, promoting thinking, and problem-solving ideas for individuals, teams, and organizations.

As a certified facilitator for LSP, I design a workshop with questions that the participants then build lego models to respond, listen and share with the group – ultimately co-creating a shared model that leads to the goal of the workshop.

History and how LSP was developed

Developed internally by The LEGO Group in the 90s when they were going through business growth challenges Robert Rasmussen, the Director of Product Development at the time joined the efforts to investigate these challenges using legos for strategic development

What emerged was the ability to help people see they were part of the system, which helped them envision scenarios to better prepare for the future. They recognized the success of this method internally and began training facilitators in 2001 to bring the methodology to other organizations

Now separate from Lego, Rasmussen Consulting conducts facilitator training.  Robert is the Principal architect and father of the LSP methodology. He has become primarily responsible for refining and grounding the theories and science behind the method.

LSP can be applied to…

  • Unlock the potential of PEOPLE and their values.
  • Develop TEAM, leadership, and interpersonal relationships.
  • Build and validate BUSINESS MODELS.
  • Conduct STRATEGIC PLANNING meetings.
  • Identify and define MISSION, VISION and VALUES.
  • Create new PRODUCTS and SERVICES.
  • Analyze scenarios and look for solutions.

Core Beliefs of LSP

  1. Everyone around the table leans in. Leaders don’t have all the answers. Success depends on hearing all the voices inside the room and all voices have a contribution.

2. 100/100 meetings. Most meetings 20% of people do 80% of the talking – in LSP 100% share. People naturally want to contribute, be part of something bigger, and take responsibility. Teams often don’t function at their potential, leaving untapped knowledge in team members. LSP harnesses unique ideas and avoids groupthink.

3. Hand Knowledge. When hands are used in learning it generates a powerful emotional charge. Thoughts and ideas are built with our hands and can be expressed in greater detail. What we share is more easily understood and remembered. Both hands are connected with both sides of our brains to maximize all senses and learning styles at the same time.

The LSP ® method results in more participation, more insights, more engagement, and more commitment to implementing solutions. The purpose of LSP ® is to change the format of traditional meetings with low engagement and participation to a model where there is 100-100 participation, that is, where everyone actively participates in ideas and decision making.

It is based on extensive research in the areas of business and strategy, organizational development, psychology, and learning, and is based on the concept of “hands-on knowledge.”

You may be asking yourself, how does playing with legos produce this?

Why LSP is Effective

LEGO® blocks serve as a metaphor to create a universal language that anyone can use, regardless of their experience, position, education, or culture. The LSP method enables everyone to share their knowledge and insights.

We start with questions focused on the individual, then it builds into the group co-creating together. The structure of the LSP workshop requires that everyone be actively involved in the decision-making and solution-building processes. It increases the likelihood that each participant will feel more engaged and committed to implementing decisions and agreements after the workshop.

More ideas and concrete results are produced because everyone has the same time to build their answers and ideas even before starting the conversation and the sharing round.

Open communication and deep listening among participants is encouraged. Viewing 3D models, building metaphors, and stories generate interest and better retention of what is shared, which also contributes to better understanding.

LSP provides a safe and reliable environment and establishes a relationship of collaboration between participants. The focus of the methodology is on the answers built with the LEGO blocks, not on the people who answer them, which also allows for more intense discussions about the real facts and problems, minimizing personal conflicts.

Coming back to the question of “How can Legos make serious play for work teams?” Well, LSP is a fun and experiential way to collaborate and co-create together to get to a mutually agreed upon understanding.  – And we’re adults playing with legos at work!

If this seems like something you’d like to explore for your team, let’s talk! You too can build stuff with legos with your work colleagues – and get results from it!